Collaborative divorce is a gentler, more efficient, and less adversarial way to negotiate the terms of your divorce settlement (within the limits of the law of course).
Goal of Collaborative Divorce
The goal of collaborative divorce is for the divorce to be a win-win situation (if that is at all possible) for both parties.Each party may negotiate for what is most important to them, as opposed to what the State, Judge, or other individual may believe is most important to each party.Collaborative divorce is different from mediation in that mediation is a more adversarial process wherein each party uses bargaining chips to either reach their goal or prevent the other party from receiving what they value most.Collaborative divorce is non (or less) adversarial and, while both parties are feeling the emotional and financial aspects of divorce, the parties are less about blame, guilt, etc., and instead choose to focus on reaching a settlement that is reasonable or acceptable to both parties.
CollaborativeDivorceIs Not For Everyone Because…
While I am a whole-hearted believer in the collaborative divorce process, collaborative divorce is not for everyone.For example, collaborative divorce only works if both attorneys are properly trained in collaborative divorce techniques, if there is no history of domestic violence between the parties, both parties can trust the other party, both parties understand how collaborative divorce works, and each party agrees follow the rules.Further, in a true collaborative divorce, if the parties are unable to reach a settlement in the collaborative process, both parties must retain new attorneys and start over.Their collaborative attorneys cannot represent or serve as a mediator to either party during future divorce proceedings.
Attorney Training
Attorneys who practice collaborative divorce have received training on the collaborative process and the techniques required to help both parties reach a settlement.Usually, a collaborative divorce attorney will not choose to participate in a collaborative divorce if the opposing attorney is not trained in collaborative law/divorce.
Domestic Violence
If there is a history of domestic violence between the parties, collaborative divorce is not appropriate.The collaborative divorce process is based upon an even power distribution between the parties.Domestic violence indicates an unequal bargaining position of one of the parties.Therefore, domestic violence eliminates parties from the collaborative divorce process.
Trust Opposing party
Similar to domestic violence, the parties must trust each other throughout the process.If the parties cannot trust each other, there is unequal bargaining power and the collaborative process is not appropriate.
Understand and Become Dedicated to the Process
Both parties must understand how the entire collaborative law process works from start to finish.Both parties must be dedicated to the process.The collaborative process includes several meetings between the parties and their respective counsel.Each party and their attorney must be dedicated to the process and the meetings.
Follow the rules
If the collaborative divorce fails, then both parties must start over with new attorneys.
One of the biggest “cons” of a true collaborative divorce process, is the fact that if the parties are unable to reach an agreement through the collaborative divorce process, the parties must start over in a standard divorce process.The collaborative attorneys are prohibited from representing either party (or serving as a mediator for the parties) in dissolution proceedings.The reasoning behind this “rule” is that because of the collaborative process, each party and their attorney knows the facts of the case and the particular wants and needs of the opposing party.
The collaborative divorce process can be beneficial to both parties; however, the above listed items must be considered before the process is undertaken to ensure the collaborative process and the collaborative divorce attorney is a good fit for your unique situation.